Improving Your Wellbeing - Strategies that Really Work

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life.

It turns what we have into enough, and more.
It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity.
It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.
Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today,
And creates a vision for tomorrow.

(Melody Beattie, author)

Have you noticed that it’s often the simple things in life that bring us the greatest happiness and sense of well-being? Talking to a close friend or loved one, laughing at a joke, smiling at our pet dog or cat as it plays, noticing the warmth of the sun on our skin, walking along the beach, picnicking in a National Park, or staying in bed on a cold morning reading a good book can all make us feel better. There are many simple pleasures that improve our sense of well-being and make us happier, so why is it that the moment is quickly lost and we struggle to hold onto that magical moment or time of bliss? Happiness, it seems, is a transient emotion or state of being that can evaporate quickly, so start by writing down those special moments and show gratitude for what you have.

Positive Psychology proponent, Professor Martin Seligman suggests a simple exercise to lift our mood. He calls it the “Three Blessings” or the “What Went Well Exercise?”.  This exercise takes no more than ten minutes to write down three things that went well during the day and the reason why they went well. Try it for at least a week to see if your mood improves. I guess it’s part of human nature to focus far more on what went wrong rather than what went well, it’s how we have survived over the millennia.  Flip this notion on its head though, and focus more on what goes well in your day. (Go to Seligman’s free website: www.authentichappiness.org for more ideas and surveys to monitor your well-being.)

Acts of kindness are contagious and research shows that being kind to others increases our own levels of well-being as well as the well-being of others. Try some of these: give a compliment, hold a door open for someone, make someone laugh, volunteer for a charity or worthy cause, take time to really listen to someone – hold eye contact for the entire time, leave little gifts or cards for work colleagues or friends and show your appreciation for someone’s actions, write a letter of gratitude to someone who made a real difference in your life – let them know how much they helped you. Random acts of kindness are wonderful too, but why not start with the people we know best?

In a recent Time article, “The Mindful Revolution”, Pickert notes that scientists have been able to prove that mediation and mindfulness training can lower cortisol levels and blood pressure, increase immune response, and have an impact on the structure of the brain. Technology has made it harder than ever to focus on just one thing at a time. We are all multi-tasking way too much. Mindfulness is a skill that helps quietens our busy mind so we focus more on the present moment and less on what’s happened or what we think is going to happen. Mindfulness, like meditation requires regular practice.

When Burkeman, author of The Antidote: Happiness for people who can’t stand positive thinking, met with Eckhart Tolle to explore his philosophy for happiness, Tolle made the point that the most important thing is not to be continuously lost in this mental projection away from now. Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. The result is that we can ‘miss our whole life’ by focussing on the past or the future and never the here and now. Without really noticing it, we treat the future as intrinsically more important than the present. So stop and think about the ‘here and now’ and keep your attention there.

Try asking yourself whether you have any immediate problems right now. Often people are surprised to find that their ‘problems’ are things that they are worried about happening in the future, and in many cases, are not likely to happen at all. Maybe it’s a truism, but 99% of what we worry about never happens.  Burkeman suggests that if we took the advice of Seneca and imagined the worst-case scenario, then perhaps we would be more surprised and happier when things don‘t turn out as badly as we first thought.

Author of “The Art of the Idea”, John Hunt, contends that everyone falls into one or two categories. A ‘sunriser’ gives out energy, a ‘sunsetter’ sucks it away. Sunrisers go through life open to the idea that the best may still be coming while sunsetters are heavy in the knowledge that the best is past – for this person, the future is a calibrated decline – always sloping downhill. Are you a sunriser or a sunsetter? Remember the old Winston Churchill adage: An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty, while a pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. Maybe it’s time to switch your thinking? Seligman’s research found that optimists enjoy better health, live longer and are happier than their counterparts.

Note to Self:  

Strategies that really work in improving your well-being

·         Show gratitude for what you have.

·         Practise acts of kindness – it’s infectious.

·         Write a letter of thanks to someone who helped you.

·         Be in the present – the ‘here and now’.

·         Every day, write down three things that went well that day and why they went well.

·         10 to 30 minutes meditation every day.

·         Be a ‘sunrise’ person not a ‘sunset’ person.

 

·         Download some Apps like Headspace, Happier, the Smiling Mind and Gratitude Journal and use them daily.

·         Smile at everyone you meet. You, and they, will feel better for your smile.

     

       Yesterday is but a dream,
Tomorrow is only a vision.
But today well lived makes every yesterday a dream of happiness,

      And every tomorrow a vision of hope.

            (Kaladisa)

References:

Burkeman, O. (2012). The Antidote: Happiness for people who can’t stand positive thinking. Melbourne, Australia: The Text Publishing Company.

Kluger, J. (2013, July). The Happiness of Pursuit. Time, V.182, No.2, 20-30.

Hunt, J. (2009). The Art of the Idea: and how it can change your life.New York, USA: powerHouse Books.

Pickert, K. (2014, February). The Mindful Revolution: The science of finding focus in a stressed-out, multitasking culture. Time, V.183, No.4,33-38.

Seligman, M.E.P. (2011). Flourish, New York, USA: Atria Paperback.