"The fact is that given the challenges we face, education doesn't need to be reformed -- it needs to be transformed. The key to this transformation is not to standardize education, but to personalize it, to build achievement on discovering the individual talents of each child, to put students in an environment where they want to learn and where they can naturally discover their true passions."
(Sir Ken Robinson, from The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything)
I was recently in an art class learning the finer art of finding the right way to mix colours for skin tones. Does it surprise you, like it did me, to discover that skin colour is a mix of colours as diverse as red, blue and yellow? Oh yes, and there is some white in the mix too, though white is not considered to be a colour. Now as someone who has often experienced a ‘Picasso or da Vinci’ moment, I have tried my hand at painting – not to any degree of success I might add and given that I did not know that white, red, yellow and blue make up skin colour, this is not surprising. I freely admit though, that art is one of my passions. I love nothing more than walking through an art gallery admiring the work of great painters and artists or trying my hand at drawing and painting when the mood strikes.
Discovering that such a small mix of colours can produce very life like skin tones was something of a revelation to me. Red, blue and yellow are of course primary colours and from these three colours, most other colours are derived. Wikipedia lists hundreds of colours by RGB, hue, saturation and value, because colour ‘naming’ is somewhat arbitrary and ambiguous to say the least. It’s estimated that there are 16 million colours that can be simulated by a 20 bit RGB computer, which bears no resemblance to the infinite numbers of colours that our eyes can recognise. Don’t you find it amazing to think that from so few primary colours, a world of colours is created?
Doug Keeley, a talented musician and one of the presenters at a recent principal’s ICP Conference I attended in Toronto, made the point that all music is derived from twelve tones, called the chromatic scale. All jazz, pop, rock, country and classical music is the outcome of variations in these twelve notes – a point that he proceeded to demonstrate by playing just a few notes from some well-known and well-loved pieces of music, within a few notes, most people in the audience recognised the music and the group playing it. This proved to be an interesting segue into the keynote presentation by internationally renowned, educationalists Michael Fullan, who is Professor Emeritus at the University of Toronto and Dr Andy Hargreaves, who is the Chair of School of Education at Boston College.
Both speakers spoke at length around some of the fallacies in education. One of the key points that resonated with me, was the fallacy of prescription. Both Hargreaves and Fullan argued that the old industrial model of schools had passed its ‘used by date’ long ago and that prescriptions of what students should study was no longer relevant. Hargreaves argued that the old model doesn’t need reforming, rather it needs to be totally transformed- a sentiment shared by Sir Ken Robinson, another leading, international educational expert. As Fullan explained:
“Reform is like ripe fruit; it rarely travels well.”
Hargreaves stressed that high performing organisations are flexible, innovative, creative and fit the curriculum to the child. Parents, the reason that this resonates so strongly with me, is that at Caloundra City Private School we go to extraordinary lengths to be flexible, innovative, and creative in fitting the curriculum (the teaching and learning) to each child.
Schools may have similar ingredients – students, teachers and classrooms - but like the combination of primary colours and the combination of 12 musical notes, the outcomes for each student can be very different, and differ dramatically from one school to another. The same mix of notes can be a symphony to your ears – like Beethoven’s No. 5 - or a cacophony of noises. The same mix of colours can be a beautiful “Mona Lisa” or a child-like one dimensional stick drawing. What would you rather for your son or daughter? Of course you want what’s best for your child.
Making choices about the best school for your son or daughter's education is a tough decision at the best time, but making a decision, when economic conditions are difficult can be even more confronting for parents. As someone who has sent all three of my children to a private school, I know the sacrifices that parents have to make but can I say, in the long run, it's worth every single cent. A child's very future is dictated by his or her love of learning from a very young age. If the light goes out, it's very difficult to rekindle. The money spent on your child's education is an investment in the future and it's so important to find the very best school for your son or daughter. All schools are not the same. They may have the same few ingredients, but it's how you put these altogether that determines which school is the best for your son or daughter. I agree with Sir Ken Robinson:
"Our task is to educate our students whole being so they can face the future. We may not see the future, but they will and our job is to help them make something of it." I would add:'and succeed in that future'.
Karon Graham
Principal
For those with a passion for Education, Curriculum, Learning, Technology and Innovation, Leadership, Motivation, Insights into books and topics that matter and the very latest in research.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Parenting Teenagers during the Tricky Times
Teenagers can be tricky at the best of times and for parents it may be one of the toughest challenges of all to stay calm (and sane), through those trying days, weeks and months and even years. Now please don’t get me wrong, the teenage years can be fun too, but of all the time periods for young people, the teenage years can be the most challenging and frustrating for parents.
When it comes to sorting out teenage problems or family conflict, there are no quick fixes, nor are there one stop cure-alls, nor are there strategies or solutions that work for everyone. There is no right way or right approach that’s going to work for every person or for every situation. As one comic quipped:
“Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.”
Yes we recognise that teenagers are growing up and need more independence, more autonomy and more privacy but this should be a measured and balanced approach. The ‘fine line’ is letting your son or daughter have more privacy, you don’t need to know everything, but by the same token you need them to understand that you want them to be safe, and because of this, there are some things that you do need to know.
Parents understand protective behaviours but adolescents don’t necessarily see the risks that parents do. Teenagers can be at risk because of someone else’s doing. Teenagers can be very manipulating when it comes to going out with their friends. Where they say they’re going and where they end up going, can be completely different. Yes you want to build trust but trust works both ways and they have to demonstrate to you that they can be trusted. It pays to contact the other parents to get details and ensure that the other parents are there or supervising your son or daughter. While this does not always pan out, there is some peace of mind in allowing your son or daughter to go to someone’s place if you have spoken to the parents beforehand.
Listen and share time with your teenager as part of your daily and weekly routine. As a busy parent, we often tell ourselves it’s the quality of the time not the quantity of time that counts most. Unfortunately all evidence is to the contrary. What’s most important, in fact, is the quantity of time we spend with our sons and daughters. Listening to your son or daughter sounds easy, most of us think that we do this really well, but often the child’s interpretation of time spent listening to them is quite the reverse. It’s hard sometimes to listen without giving advice or asking too many questions and this is an acquired skill that parents need to master. Listening in silence does not mean that you agree with your son or daughter, but it does mean you are listening. Reflective responses are helpful when listening; lecturing, giving advice (if it’s not requested), or starting with “when I was young” is not.
It’s not a perfect world, (we get that), but equally we need to understand that our teenagers are not perfect. Things will go wrong and do go wrong. Yes, there need to be consequences for inappropriate behaviour and wherever possible make the consequences relevant to the situation. Acknowledge the mistake and as a family, move forward, because constantly reminding your son or daughter of the mistake is not going to help the situation. Apologising for inappropriate behaviour is a very important step for teenagers to take, in allowing everyone to put the incident behind them and move on in life. Take heart from the philosophy that your teenager will learn from the mistakes and while it doesn’t seem like they are learning at the time, over the longer term, they do learn the lessons.
Who’s the boss in your family? According to expert, Elizabeth Harrell, teenagers need boundaries and safe, secure situations in which to grow. Parents are the provider of both, and when you act like a friend, your teen will lose security. Teens who view their parents as authority figures and providers are more likely to be close to them in adulthood. Despite what appearances might suggest, teens do not respect parents who behave like teens. Relating to your teen, based on your own experiences, can be a successful method of working through challenging situations, but at no time should you lose your parent status. (From: “11 Mistakes parents make with teen discipline”).
Setting boundaries is essential. You may feel like the enemy from time to time (and yes, occasionally your son or daughter may call you this), but more than anything, adolescents need to know what they can and can’t do. You are the parents and you determine what the rules and boundaries are in your household. Don’t succumb because of the ‘tried and tested’ (very testing), ‘Linda’s mum or Jamie’s dad lets them do this or go to this place’ - or whatever it might be that they want to do. Stay strong, like the Rock of Gibraltar – don’t let your teenager manipulate you emotionally.
Talk to the other parents of your son or daughter's friends. No-one likes to be the last parent to know about what is going on between your own son or daughter, with another teenager. Please, if you are one of the parents who knows something about another teenager’s risky behaviour, talk to one of the teen’s parents about what you have seen or heard. You may save a family from a very painful situation or a tragedy. At worse your comments may cause the other parent to become miffed, but if it was your son or daughter involved in risky behaviour, wouldn’t you want to know? Of course you would. If this all seems a little too difficult or confronting, let someone else know either in the school or a close friend of the family. Please don’t be the one to spread the gossip to other parents, this may fuel a potential situation and make it even more difficult for a family to resolve the issues with their own teenage son or daughter.
Be around and let it be known that you’re around. Teenagers are notorious for getting themselves into strife and then having a hard time getting out of a bad situation by themselves. Sometimes teenagers will go out with a group of friends and either separate from them to be with ‘someone special’ or alternatively may have an argument and walk off from his or her friends. Either way, the consequences of separating from friends to be by themselves can lead to dangerous or risky behaviour or situations. Always let your teenager know you are available to give them a lift home. You will pick him/her up at anyplace or anytime, even three o’clock in the morning. You will do so without any consequences to your teenager on the understanding that everyone makes mistakes in judgment. You simply want your son or daughter to be safe, no matter what the circumstances.
Be positive and have positive intentions and above all keep a sense of humour. I say this in hindsight as a parent who has seen three of my children grow into adults and now laugh when we talk about some of their misdemeanours during the more difficult teenage years. Can I laugh about all of the difficulties? Definitely not , but some of the ‘darkest hours’ have been defining moments in turning around one of my then teenagers from the ‘dark side’. Remaining positive and looking forward to a positive and bright future was a struggle some days but in the end, that’s what happened. Have faith and trust that the values that you share with your teenager will hold them in good stead for the future.
Sometimes we need to get professional help, because despite our best efforts, we are unable to work through the complicated issues that are causing escalated family conflict. Finding a professional ‘third party’ to mediate and arbitrate through the mine field is sometimes the only way forward.
As a school we support both students and parents through this difficult and trying time. Research shows that when the school and parents work in partnership, the resilience and protective factors of your child are enhanced. Our Life Skills Program and Outdoor Education Program, give young people effective strategies for dealing with a wide range of social and emotional issues as they grow and develop into young adults. Together we can work towards resolving many of the issues facing you as parents or your children. Yes, the teenage years are amongst the most challenging but they are also amongst the most rewarding and satisfying years of your life. Yes they really are; trust me on this point.
Karon Graham
When it comes to sorting out teenage problems or family conflict, there are no quick fixes, nor are there one stop cure-alls, nor are there strategies or solutions that work for everyone. There is no right way or right approach that’s going to work for every person or for every situation. As one comic quipped:
“Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.”
Yes we recognise that teenagers are growing up and need more independence, more autonomy and more privacy but this should be a measured and balanced approach. The ‘fine line’ is letting your son or daughter have more privacy, you don’t need to know everything, but by the same token you need them to understand that you want them to be safe, and because of this, there are some things that you do need to know.
Parents understand protective behaviours but adolescents don’t necessarily see the risks that parents do. Teenagers can be at risk because of someone else’s doing. Teenagers can be very manipulating when it comes to going out with their friends. Where they say they’re going and where they end up going, can be completely different. Yes you want to build trust but trust works both ways and they have to demonstrate to you that they can be trusted. It pays to contact the other parents to get details and ensure that the other parents are there or supervising your son or daughter. While this does not always pan out, there is some peace of mind in allowing your son or daughter to go to someone’s place if you have spoken to the parents beforehand.
Listen and share time with your teenager as part of your daily and weekly routine. As a busy parent, we often tell ourselves it’s the quality of the time not the quantity of time that counts most. Unfortunately all evidence is to the contrary. What’s most important, in fact, is the quantity of time we spend with our sons and daughters. Listening to your son or daughter sounds easy, most of us think that we do this really well, but often the child’s interpretation of time spent listening to them is quite the reverse. It’s hard sometimes to listen without giving advice or asking too many questions and this is an acquired skill that parents need to master. Listening in silence does not mean that you agree with your son or daughter, but it does mean you are listening. Reflective responses are helpful when listening; lecturing, giving advice (if it’s not requested), or starting with “when I was young” is not.
It’s not a perfect world, (we get that), but equally we need to understand that our teenagers are not perfect. Things will go wrong and do go wrong. Yes, there need to be consequences for inappropriate behaviour and wherever possible make the consequences relevant to the situation. Acknowledge the mistake and as a family, move forward, because constantly reminding your son or daughter of the mistake is not going to help the situation. Apologising for inappropriate behaviour is a very important step for teenagers to take, in allowing everyone to put the incident behind them and move on in life. Take heart from the philosophy that your teenager will learn from the mistakes and while it doesn’t seem like they are learning at the time, over the longer term, they do learn the lessons.
Who’s the boss in your family? According to expert, Elizabeth Harrell, teenagers need boundaries and safe, secure situations in which to grow. Parents are the provider of both, and when you act like a friend, your teen will lose security. Teens who view their parents as authority figures and providers are more likely to be close to them in adulthood. Despite what appearances might suggest, teens do not respect parents who behave like teens. Relating to your teen, based on your own experiences, can be a successful method of working through challenging situations, but at no time should you lose your parent status. (From: “11 Mistakes parents make with teen discipline”).
Setting boundaries is essential. You may feel like the enemy from time to time (and yes, occasionally your son or daughter may call you this), but more than anything, adolescents need to know what they can and can’t do. You are the parents and you determine what the rules and boundaries are in your household. Don’t succumb because of the ‘tried and tested’ (very testing), ‘Linda’s mum or Jamie’s dad lets them do this or go to this place’ - or whatever it might be that they want to do. Stay strong, like the Rock of Gibraltar – don’t let your teenager manipulate you emotionally.
Talk to the other parents of your son or daughter's friends. No-one likes to be the last parent to know about what is going on between your own son or daughter, with another teenager. Please, if you are one of the parents who knows something about another teenager’s risky behaviour, talk to one of the teen’s parents about what you have seen or heard. You may save a family from a very painful situation or a tragedy. At worse your comments may cause the other parent to become miffed, but if it was your son or daughter involved in risky behaviour, wouldn’t you want to know? Of course you would. If this all seems a little too difficult or confronting, let someone else know either in the school or a close friend of the family. Please don’t be the one to spread the gossip to other parents, this may fuel a potential situation and make it even more difficult for a family to resolve the issues with their own teenage son or daughter.
Be around and let it be known that you’re around. Teenagers are notorious for getting themselves into strife and then having a hard time getting out of a bad situation by themselves. Sometimes teenagers will go out with a group of friends and either separate from them to be with ‘someone special’ or alternatively may have an argument and walk off from his or her friends. Either way, the consequences of separating from friends to be by themselves can lead to dangerous or risky behaviour or situations. Always let your teenager know you are available to give them a lift home. You will pick him/her up at anyplace or anytime, even three o’clock in the morning. You will do so without any consequences to your teenager on the understanding that everyone makes mistakes in judgment. You simply want your son or daughter to be safe, no matter what the circumstances.
Be positive and have positive intentions and above all keep a sense of humour. I say this in hindsight as a parent who has seen three of my children grow into adults and now laugh when we talk about some of their misdemeanours during the more difficult teenage years. Can I laugh about all of the difficulties? Definitely not , but some of the ‘darkest hours’ have been defining moments in turning around one of my then teenagers from the ‘dark side’. Remaining positive and looking forward to a positive and bright future was a struggle some days but in the end, that’s what happened. Have faith and trust that the values that you share with your teenager will hold them in good stead for the future.
Sometimes we need to get professional help, because despite our best efforts, we are unable to work through the complicated issues that are causing escalated family conflict. Finding a professional ‘third party’ to mediate and arbitrate through the mine field is sometimes the only way forward.
As a school we support both students and parents through this difficult and trying time. Research shows that when the school and parents work in partnership, the resilience and protective factors of your child are enhanced. Our Life Skills Program and Outdoor Education Program, give young people effective strategies for dealing with a wide range of social and emotional issues as they grow and develop into young adults. Together we can work towards resolving many of the issues facing you as parents or your children. Yes, the teenage years are amongst the most challenging but they are also amongst the most rewarding and satisfying years of your life. Yes they really are; trust me on this point.
Karon Graham
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Why are Some People so Lucky?
Do you ever wonder why some people are so lucky? I recently read an article about some incredibly lucky lottery winners. Hard to believe but Texan Joan Ginther, has actually won four jackpots since 1993 for the amazing, grand total of US$20.4 million. Experts say that the odds of one person winning four lottery jackpots are unbelievably difficult - more than 200 million to 1. Joan Ginther isn’t the only one to get so lucky; Ernest Pullen won US$1 million in June of 2010 and then won another $2 million in September. Doesn’t seem fair does it?
Of course being lucky in winning money does not necessarily guarantee being lucky in anything else and I have heard of some sad tales about people winning lottery, only to have a series of misfortunes befall them or their family. Being lucky in love or lucky in your work or in sport of course is a little different from winning money on a lottery ticket or a scratchie.
I am very sure that neither Cadel Evans, winner of the Tour de France nor James Magnussen’s, amazing winner of the 100 metre freestyle FINA world championship would be thinking that their recent wins, were ‘just lucky’- far from it I suspect. There is an element of luck in small decisions at a particular point in time but on the whole, to be successful in anything, there has to be a great deal of effort, preparation, commitment and perseverance. I don’t think there was much room for error or luck in Magnussen’s 100 metre race in the incredible time of 47.63 seconds. Who has time to even think in that length of time?
As Thomas Jefferson said:
“I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”
In his research into why some people are lucky and others unlucky, Professor Richard Wiseman has distilled his research down to four basic principles which explains how some people create their own good fortune. Professor Wiseman shares the following principles in his book, “The Luck Factor”:
Principle One: Maximise Chance Opportunities
Lucky people are skilled at creating, noticing and acting upon chance opportunities. They do this in various ways, including networking, adopting a relaxed attitude to life and by being open to new experiences.
Principle Two: Listening to Lucky Hunches
Lucky people make effective decisions by listening to their intuition and gut feelings. In addition, they take steps to actively boost their intuitive abilities by, for example, meditating and clearing their mind of other thoughts.
Principle Three: Expect Good Fortune
Lucky people are certain that the future is going to be full of good fortune. These expectations become self-fulfilling prophecies by helping lucky people persist in the face of failure, and shape their interactions with others in a positive way.
Principle Four: Turn Bad Luck to Good
Lucky people employ various psychological techniques to cope with, and often even thrive upon, the ill fortune that comes their way. For example, they spontaneously imagine how things could have been worse, do not dwell on ill fortune, and take control of the situation.
Surprisingly, it seems, luck is more about your attitude to life than it is about divine forces conspiring to bring either good or bad fortune. Yes I know this is contrary to many people’s perceptions but on the whole, it’s my belief that we make our own luck even when it seems the odds are stacked against us.
Best selling author of, “The Winner’s Bible”, Dr Kerry Spackman believes that those people with an absolute and resolute self belief, will be and usually are the people who succeed most in life. While it might be that there was a serendipitous moment where everything seemed to fall in place, it is usually the culmination of consistent and persistent effort, hard work and belief in yourself that brings ultimate success.
This is an important message for our young people, who from time to time doubt their own ability and may question why they are not doing as well as they would like to or maybe not achieving their goals. A good positive attitude and a healthy perspective about life and its shortcomings and the resilience to keep moving forward in the face of adversity or setbacks, will ultimately lead young people to a more successful future. As parents and teachers we can help this process by encouraging, inspiring and motivating our young people to always work to the best of their ability and to persevere, even if they don’t succeed at first (or second or third).
As William James, American psychologist and philosopher wrote:
“The greatest revolution of our generation
is the discovery that human beings,
by changing the inner attitudes in their minds,
can change the outer aspects of their lives.”
In essence, James is saying that we can not only change the outer aspect of our lives but we can also change our luck. Stay positive, think big and believe in yourself, no matter what - even when you don’t win the lottery – darn!
Karon Graham
Principal
Of course being lucky in winning money does not necessarily guarantee being lucky in anything else and I have heard of some sad tales about people winning lottery, only to have a series of misfortunes befall them or their family. Being lucky in love or lucky in your work or in sport of course is a little different from winning money on a lottery ticket or a scratchie.
I am very sure that neither Cadel Evans, winner of the Tour de France nor James Magnussen’s, amazing winner of the 100 metre freestyle FINA world championship would be thinking that their recent wins, were ‘just lucky’- far from it I suspect. There is an element of luck in small decisions at a particular point in time but on the whole, to be successful in anything, there has to be a great deal of effort, preparation, commitment and perseverance. I don’t think there was much room for error or luck in Magnussen’s 100 metre race in the incredible time of 47.63 seconds. Who has time to even think in that length of time?
As Thomas Jefferson said:
“I'm a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.”
In his research into why some people are lucky and others unlucky, Professor Richard Wiseman has distilled his research down to four basic principles which explains how some people create their own good fortune. Professor Wiseman shares the following principles in his book, “The Luck Factor”:
Principle One: Maximise Chance Opportunities
Lucky people are skilled at creating, noticing and acting upon chance opportunities. They do this in various ways, including networking, adopting a relaxed attitude to life and by being open to new experiences.
Principle Two: Listening to Lucky Hunches
Lucky people make effective decisions by listening to their intuition and gut feelings. In addition, they take steps to actively boost their intuitive abilities by, for example, meditating and clearing their mind of other thoughts.
Principle Three: Expect Good Fortune
Lucky people are certain that the future is going to be full of good fortune. These expectations become self-fulfilling prophecies by helping lucky people persist in the face of failure, and shape their interactions with others in a positive way.
Principle Four: Turn Bad Luck to Good
Lucky people employ various psychological techniques to cope with, and often even thrive upon, the ill fortune that comes their way. For example, they spontaneously imagine how things could have been worse, do not dwell on ill fortune, and take control of the situation.
Surprisingly, it seems, luck is more about your attitude to life than it is about divine forces conspiring to bring either good or bad fortune. Yes I know this is contrary to many people’s perceptions but on the whole, it’s my belief that we make our own luck even when it seems the odds are stacked against us.
Best selling author of, “The Winner’s Bible”, Dr Kerry Spackman believes that those people with an absolute and resolute self belief, will be and usually are the people who succeed most in life. While it might be that there was a serendipitous moment where everything seemed to fall in place, it is usually the culmination of consistent and persistent effort, hard work and belief in yourself that brings ultimate success.
This is an important message for our young people, who from time to time doubt their own ability and may question why they are not doing as well as they would like to or maybe not achieving their goals. A good positive attitude and a healthy perspective about life and its shortcomings and the resilience to keep moving forward in the face of adversity or setbacks, will ultimately lead young people to a more successful future. As parents and teachers we can help this process by encouraging, inspiring and motivating our young people to always work to the best of their ability and to persevere, even if they don’t succeed at first (or second or third).
As William James, American psychologist and philosopher wrote:
“The greatest revolution of our generation
is the discovery that human beings,
by changing the inner attitudes in their minds,
can change the outer aspects of their lives.”
In essence, James is saying that we can not only change the outer aspect of our lives but we can also change our luck. Stay positive, think big and believe in yourself, no matter what - even when you don’t win the lottery – darn!
Karon Graham
Principal
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)