What can we do in times of trouble and adversity?

In troubling times and times of adversity, we sometimes lose sight of where we’re going and we can lose our sense of purpose and momentum in life. We can even doubt many things about ourselves, like our own value to others or our contribution to the greater good of society. It’s only natural to wonder why something bad has happened to us. What did we do to deserve this in our lives? Or to ponder why some people have bad luck or more tragedy in their lives than what seems fair. Malcolm Fraser once infamously said that: life wasn’t meant to be easy. This is small consolation to people trying to work through immeasurable grief or hardship but there’s an element of truth to the comment that life does not promise to be easy or fair.

Many people are shaking their heads and wondering what on earth is going on with the unprecedented natural disasters across Queensland: widespread destructive flooding, followed by a category five cyclone, and now across the Pacific Ocean, the devastating earthquake in New Zealand’s South Island. For all of us, and particularly young people, it can be very distressing to see these graphic, real-time images on television, on-line, or in newspapers and magazines. Often we’re left worrying about our own mortality.

The pain and suffering seen on television, is unbearable to watch at times, because we have a ‘mirror neuron’ which puts us there in the place of the people we are watching. It seems real and in our minds, it’s very real. We can easily imagine ourselves in that very same situation and it’s not uncommon for us to be thinking ‘what if?’, that could be me and my family.
For this reason, it’s better to limit the amount of ‘live newscasts’ on television that young people watch. If there is a natural disaster or a tragedy, remember:

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  • when they do watch the natural disasters unfolding, take the time to talk them through the situation – give them details but don’t overload them
  • reassure your son or daughter about their own safety and well being
  • explain how people are helping those affected by the disaster and that people are coming to their rescue because this may not be obvious or understood by the very young
  • give them hope, don’t dwell on the sadness or inevitability of it
  • use the opportunity to talk about what you and they might do in a similar situation
  • talk about what you and they could do to help if possible
  • always question the child’s understanding of what they have seen on television; and
  • make sure your child feels safe and secure before going to sleep.

Tragedy on the scale we have witnessed in recent months, whether it affects us directly or indirectly, can bring us down and can make us feel very ‘small’ and vulnerable in the scheme of things. Some of us worry about these tragic events, even though we’re not directly affected by them and there are others, who are directly affected by the disasters and worry about how the events are going to impact on them or on the lives of loved ones. To all of the families affected by recent disasters, you are in our thoughts and prayers. We have all shared some tears and felt a little helpless at the magnitude of what has happened recently. We can make a difference to someone’s life though, so please let me know if we can help you or your family.

Our “Caloundra Reaches Out Concert’ is a deliberate way that we can all make a difference to someone else’s life by supporting the concert on Sunday, 6 March and bring along as many family and friends as possible. All money raised will go to the Premier’s Disaster Relief Fund, so please come to the concert and make a small contribution to helping someone less fortunate than you.

The very worst thing we can do, at this point in time, is to bundle up all of our problems and go into a downward emotional spiral and say it’s all too much and give up. If you don’t do anything to resolve the problems or issues, by dealing with issues one at a time, the situation or problem will get worse. Now I know it’s easier said than done, as Ashleigh Brilliant flippantly commented:
It's not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.

Worry can be debilitating, because it can sometimes take us into a headspace where we become pessimistic about life in general and at worst can cause us to lose enjoyment in life itself. It helps to be philosophical about life, as Robert Brault said:

Sometimes in tragedy we find our life's purpose - the eye sheds a tear to find its focus.

In his bestselling book, How to Win Over Worry, John Haggai suggests some great strategies to overcome worry and to overcome adversity:

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  • rejoice in life - life is too short to spend time worrying
  • take control of your actions and response to your emotions
  • count your blessings – someone is always worse off than you
  • become genuinely interested in other people – love your neighbour as yourself and help your neighbours, as well as complete strangers
  • never expect thanks – practise random acts of kindness
  • we are what we think – so think positive and expect the best possible outcome
  • master self-control – don’t retaliate or react negatively to criticism
  • be enthusiastic – enthusiasm creates passion, endorphins released will make you feel better and happier
  • relax - relaxing can increase your effectiveness
  • be active – be industrious, be useful to others, exercise too; and
  • seize the day – live in the moment that is today, don’t worry about the past or the future.

Life is never easy, not necessarily fair, sometimes upsetting and hurtful and often very messy. This is no reason to think the worst though. Be positive, be optimistic, be enthusiastic and be a doer of good, I am always inspired by this prayer by St. Francis of Assisi (1182-1226) and whether you’re religious or not, there is a powerful message here for all of us.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.


O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal light.

Karon Graham
Principal Caloundra City Private School