not to mourn for the past,
worry about the future, or anticipate troubles,
but to live in the present moment,
wisely and earnestly.”
(Buddha)
Live for the moment. It sounds reckless doesn’t it? If we think about this proposition a little more though, life is really a continuum of moments, a series of decisions that we make, most of them seemingly insignificant, but in the course of our personal history, the collective decisions we make lead us to our destiny. Why should we live for the moment?
Many years ago, there was a popular song written by Bobby McFerrin, called “Don’t Worry, Be Happy”. The very simple lyrics struck a chord with many people. We are not able to change the past, so let it go. We are not able to predict or know with certainty the future, so there’s no point stressing too much about that either. Yes we can make plans for the future, but remember that events can often conspire against our best laid plans. So maybe there is something to McFerrin’s lyrics, ‘don’t worry, be happy’.
In Andy Andrews’ book, The Butterfly Effect, based on the theory of Edward Lorenz, he explains how one decision, one small act or one change can have a ripple effect elsewhere. When the disaster of 9/11 struck the World Trade Centre, some people, who would normally be at work there, had made a decision a week ago, or the day before, or even on the day to do something that meant they were not on the upper floors of the World Trade Centre when the planes struck.
One man decided that he would take his daughter to her first day of school and another, Larry Silverstein, had made a doctor’s appointment, which his wife insisted that morning that he should keep rather than rescheduling. Chef Michael Lomonaco decided to drop in at the optometrist in the lobby of the World Trade Centre to see if he could change his appointment time, instead of travelling up the lift to the 106th floor to his restaurant, where he would normally be preparing for the day ahead. All of these people were spared almost certain death by the decisions they had made the week before or because of spur of the moment decisions made that day.
Not all decisions take on such significance though. According to a survey by Columbia University decision researcher, Sheena Iyengar, the average person makes approximately 70 conscious decisions every day. That’s a lot of decision making happening in our lives. Multiply 70 decisions by 365 days and that means, on average, we are making around 25,550 every year! It’s no wonder that these decisions collectively determine our destiny and the destiny of other people in our lives.
What influences our decisions is quite interesting too. Arnaldo Oliveira, an expert in decision making process, argues that the essence of decision making integrates both the beliefs about specific events and peo¬ple’s subjective reactions to those events. He identifies three factors influencing our decision making. Firstly there may be more than one possible course of action possible for us to consider. Secondly, decision makers form expectations concerning future events based on degrees of confidence and probabilities for the future. Thirdly, we consider the consequences associated with possible outcomes, which reflects our own personal values and current goals.
Author, John Hunt has an interesting theory about people, which may influence how they make decisions and what decision they make. He writes about people either being a ‘sunset’ person or a ‘sunrise’ person and he believes that everyone falls into one of these two categories. Hunt explains:
“A ‘sunriser’ gives out energy; a ‘sunsetter’ sucks it away.
A ‘sunriser’ goes through life open to the idea that the best may still be coming. A ‘sunset’ person is heavy in the knowledge that the best is past. For him or her, the future is in a calibrated decline.”
In essence, beliefs influence our actions and often can result in a self-fulfilling prophecy where our decisions influence eventual outcomes. In other words, what you believe will come true because you will subconsciously and consciously act in ways that cause the event to happen. Self-fulfilling prophecies are powerful, and real.
A simple decision about whether to let your child learn a musical instrument, or learn to sing or dance or paint can significantly influence the course of their life. A young child who struggles to learn, to speak or write, may benefit greatly by learning to play a musical instrument or play chess or to learn to draw or to play a particular sport. Not only does it open a whole new world of opportunities for your child, but it may very well be the one thing, in which they excel and experience success in their life. We never know where such a decision will lead.
There’s no escaping it, the more opportunities we give our child at the youngest possible age, the more likely they are to excel, not just at school but in life in general. A small decision can have an untold impact on the future. We never know where the decisions of today will lead; ultimately, it may very well depend on our beliefs and expectations and (maybe) on whether we are a ‘sunsetter’ or ‘sunriser’. I will let Theodore Roosevelt have the last word on decision making:
“In any moment of decision
the best thing you can do
Is the right thing, the
next best thing is the
wrong thing, and
the worst thing
you can do is
nothing.”
Karon Graham
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