What can we do in times of trouble and adversity?

In troubling times and times of adversity, we sometimes lose sight of where we’re going and we can lose our sense of purpose and momentum in life. We can even doubt many things about ourselves, like our own value to others or our contribution to the greater good of society. It’s only natural to wonder why something bad has happened to us. What did we do to deserve this in our lives? Or to ponder why some people have bad luck or more tragedy in their lives than what seems fair. Malcolm Fraser once infamously said that: life wasn’t meant to be easy. This is small consolation to people trying to work through immeasurable grief or hardship but there’s an element of truth to the comment that life does not promise to be easy or fair.

Many people are shaking their heads and wondering what on earth is going on with the unprecedented natural disasters across Queensland: widespread destructive flooding, followed by a category five cyclone, and now across the Pacific Ocean, the devastating earthquake in New Zealand’s South Island. For all of us, and particularly young people, it can be very distressing to see these graphic, real-time images on television, on-line, or in newspapers and magazines. Often we’re left worrying about our own mortality.

The pain and suffering seen on television, is unbearable to watch at times, because we have a ‘mirror neuron’ which puts us there in the place of the people we are watching. It seems real and in our minds, it’s very real. We can easily imagine ourselves in that very same situation and it’s not uncommon for us to be thinking ‘what if?’, that could be me and my family.
For this reason, it’s better to limit the amount of ‘live newscasts’ on television that young people watch. If there is a natural disaster or a tragedy, remember:

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  • when they do watch the natural disasters unfolding, take the time to talk them through the situation – give them details but don’t overload them
  • reassure your son or daughter about their own safety and well being
  • explain how people are helping those affected by the disaster and that people are coming to their rescue because this may not be obvious or understood by the very young
  • give them hope, don’t dwell on the sadness or inevitability of it
  • use the opportunity to talk about what you and they might do in a similar situation
  • talk about what you and they could do to help if possible
  • always question the child’s understanding of what they have seen on television; and
  • make sure your child feels safe and secure before going to sleep.

Tragedy on the scale we have witnessed in recent months, whether it affects us directly or indirectly, can bring us down and can make us feel very ‘small’ and vulnerable in the scheme of things. Some of us worry about these tragic events, even though we’re not directly affected by them and there are others, who are directly affected by the disasters and worry about how the events are going to impact on them or on the lives of loved ones. To all of the families affected by recent disasters, you are in our thoughts and prayers. We have all shared some tears and felt a little helpless at the magnitude of what has happened recently. We can make a difference to someone’s life though, so please let me know if we can help you or your family.

Our “Caloundra Reaches Out Concert’ is a deliberate way that we can all make a difference to someone else’s life by supporting the concert on Sunday, 6 March and bring along as many family and friends as possible. All money raised will go to the Premier’s Disaster Relief Fund, so please come to the concert and make a small contribution to helping someone less fortunate than you.

The very worst thing we can do, at this point in time, is to bundle up all of our problems and go into a downward emotional spiral and say it’s all too much and give up. If you don’t do anything to resolve the problems or issues, by dealing with issues one at a time, the situation or problem will get worse. Now I know it’s easier said than done, as Ashleigh Brilliant flippantly commented:
It's not easy taking my problems one at a time when they refuse to get in line.

Worry can be debilitating, because it can sometimes take us into a headspace where we become pessimistic about life in general and at worst can cause us to lose enjoyment in life itself. It helps to be philosophical about life, as Robert Brault said:

Sometimes in tragedy we find our life's purpose - the eye sheds a tear to find its focus.

In his bestselling book, How to Win Over Worry, John Haggai suggests some great strategies to overcome worry and to overcome adversity:

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  • rejoice in life - life is too short to spend time worrying
  • take control of your actions and response to your emotions
  • count your blessings – someone is always worse off than you
  • become genuinely interested in other people – love your neighbour as yourself and help your neighbours, as well as complete strangers
  • never expect thanks – practise random acts of kindness
  • we are what we think – so think positive and expect the best possible outcome
  • master self-control – don’t retaliate or react negatively to criticism
  • be enthusiastic – enthusiasm creates passion, endorphins released will make you feel better and happier
  • relax - relaxing can increase your effectiveness
  • be active – be industrious, be useful to others, exercise too; and
  • seize the day – live in the moment that is today, don’t worry about the past or the future.

Life is never easy, not necessarily fair, sometimes upsetting and hurtful and often very messy. This is no reason to think the worst though. Be positive, be optimistic, be enthusiastic and be a doer of good, I am always inspired by this prayer by St. Francis of Assisi (1182-1226) and whether you’re religious or not, there is a powerful message here for all of us.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.


O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal light.

Karon Graham
Principal Caloundra City Private School

Help For Friends in Need

“Oh I get by with a little help from my friends…”
Lyrics sung by arguably one of the best musical groups of all time and one of my favourite groups - The Beatles. Have you ever wondered why some groups gel together, making hit after hit, while others never make the grade or at best have a one hit wonder and then fade into oblivion? The musical genius of The Beatles grew out of the very different interests and skills that each band member brought to the group, resulting in classics like: I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends, Come Together, Help, Imagine, Can’t Buy Me Love, Yesterday and hundreds of other songs that have stood the test of time. What makes The Beatles stand out as one of the all time great musical bands? Was it the chemistry of the four beatniks? Was it their individual talent or genius for lyrics and music? Or was it something else?

Synergy is that secret ingredient that takes the ordinary to the extraordinary. It’s not just in the music world, that such creative synergy exists though. Think about the sporting world and the combinations that brought such success to the Brisbane Broncos, year after year, or the former, (it grieves me to say) winning combination of the Australian Cricket team that endured for many long years. In the business world, we find similar creative synergy that results in the kind of incredible innovation in communications – like Apple’s iPod and iPad. Teams of people worked with Steve Jobs, Apple’s co-founder and CEO, to create and produce this amazing new technology.

Steve Jobs is a creative genius but he didn’t achieve what he did alone, and let’s face it, he only achieved these remarkable things with the help of others. Synergy in essence occurs when a group of people can achieve so much more than any one individual working alone. It begs the question though: do you have to be an extraordinary person to achieve great things? One of the great authors of our time said:

I learned the most important lesson of my life: that the extraordinary is not the birthright of a chosen and privileged few, but of all people, even the humblest. That is my one certainty… (Paolo Coehlo)

Think about the efforts of ordinary people in Brisbane, in Toowoomba, and all over the state during the recent floods, as well as the devastating cyclone Yasi. Yes many an ordinary person went to extraordinary lengths to risk their own life to help save others or to help neighbours and strangers get to safety or to help clean up after the devastation had passed. These were extraordinary circumstances that ordinary people found themselves in and many thousands of ordinary people pitched in to help fellow Australians – strangers - but in a true Australian style, we considered all of these people as ‘our mates’ and thought nothing of giving our time and our money to help those affected. The sad truth is though, that many of these people still need our help, because they are still without flood insurance, still without homes restored and still struggling financially.

Whether a partnership of music or business or even education, there are certain special ingredients that contribute to the success of partnerships or a group of people. Sir Ken Robinson, author of “The Element” maintains that the critical elements of extraordinary and successful synergy – the magic that comes when people work together and achieve an extraordinary outcome that would not be possible with just one person working individually. People often derive a large sense of who they are through affiliation with a specific group and it’s likely to boost their self esteem too. Schools, too, can provide this kind of connectedness.

According to Robinson, the best and most creative teams are diverse, dynamic and distinct. The group or partnership needs different sorts of people, with different but complementary talents. Diversity of talents is important, but it’s not enough. Robinsons argues that successful groups have a distinctive personality and come together to do something specific – to get a job done.

Caloundra City Private School is organising a “Caloundra Reaches Out Concert” at the Caloundra RSL on Sunday, 6 March at 3pm to 5.00pm to raise funds for the Premier’s Appeal. The concert will be a great family event with a fabulous magician, the Tenorissimos, the Sunshine Coast Orchestra and other performers such as the singing sensation, 13 year old Straalen McCallum, who recently appeared on Channel 7’s Sunrise and was one of the youngest stars ever signed to Sony Music Australia. Tickets are priced for families: $25 Adults, $10 children and $50 for a family ticket – two adults and up to three children and will be available from the School and from the Reception Desk at the Caloundra RSL.

When there is a greater need than our own, it’s time to think about what we can do to help. This is a special way that our families and the wider community of Pelican Waters and Caloundra can help raise funds for fellow Queenslanders in need. It’s the Australian way to help our mates, and what better way to help our mates by making a contribution as a school community, to the Premier’s Disaster Appeal and enjoying a concert in the process.

The School is in a partnership with parents. The success of this partnership depends on the support and willingness of parents to commit to the common vision, shared values and sense of purpose in achieving the best that we can for the young people in our care. We can teach our young people the power of teamwork by the whole school community committing to this event. Surely each of us wants our young people to grow up with a strong sense of community and a commitment to helping others in need, it’s the very least we can do. Extraordinary things happen when ordinary people band together to make things happen. This is something we can all do; we can make a difference to so many people affected by the devastating floods and cyclone.

James Taylor once sang….
When you're down and troubled
and you need a helping hand
and nothing, whoa, nothing is going right…..

Hey now, all you've got to do is call.
Lord, I'll be there, yes I will. ……

Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
You've got a friend.

Let’s be that friend. Let’s be that extraordinary team that comes together, with all of our will, to realise a goal of helping our fellow Queenslanders.

Karon Graham
Principal

What leadership legacy will you leave?

Have you ever wondered why ancient people created, carved and built such monumental and remarkable features that have stood the test of time? These relics of the past are some of the most enduring mysteries of life on earth. Why have people since the dawn of time, left these mysterious creations?

Some are gigantic megaliths, while others are more humble and simple arrangements of rocks and stones or carvings in rock. Deep in the caves of France, Indonesia and Laura in far north Queensland are rock paintings which have survived to this day as testament of another time, another people , and another lifestyle.

Amazing icons like Stonehenge – a ring of grey rocks on the desolate Salisbury Plain in England, chiselled and placed there over 4000 years ago. It is unique in prehistoric standing stones, for the fact that, all of the rock was artificially shaped and placed in an architectural plan. Was it a religious meeting place or an elaborate way to predict eclipses of the moon and sun or simply an observatory of the universe above?

Over a thousand kilometres away in the Pacific Ocean on a remote, tiny island, stand the eerie stone giants of Easter Island. They stand like sentinels, keeping guard over the horizon.

The massive and imposing pyramids and sphinx of Egypt built over 3000 years ago, which took thousands of people and many years to construct and in the ancient city of Teotihuacan in Mexico, well before the Aztecs, was a city of wide avenues and massive pyramids built more than 1400 years ago. Although considered primitive, ancient people have shown wonderful resourcefulness to create and build these amazing monuments to honour great leaders, great civilizations and demonstrate a great understanding of the power of leaving a legacy.

Further south in the desert plains of Peru at Nazca, are incredible rock shapes which can best be seen from the air. These precision drawings, using only piles of stone and rocks are spectacularly large, with one solar line drawn over 6 kilometres long, with 18 bird shaped figures, spiders and other shapes only discerned from the air, but why ? It would be another thousand years before people could fly and see them from the air.

On the weekend, astrophysicists reported that they have discovered an ancient Aboriginal sundial , west of Melbourne, that could be more than 10,000 years old – older than the Stonehenge, older than the pyramids of Egypt. Not as grand but still impressive for its time.


In the most remote northern hemisphere in the Arctic region are found stones built in the form called inukshuk by the Inuit people. They indicate migration routes or places where food can be found and sometimes they are built to signify places of power or important spiritual places. These ancient relics were built in many different designs – some mean “you are on the right path.” And others simply mean “someone was here.”

Around the world we find these ancient remnants of past civilisations. Since time immemorial, ancient peoples have left reminders of their presence. At the most basic level, I guess all of these ancient relics – large or small - are a way of people saying “someone was here.” Don’t forget that we were here; remember us. It’s their legacy to future generations – something special happened here.

Many did not have a written form of communication, or if they did, they knew that the written form would not survive unless it was carved in stone or rock. So the only way to leave a message, and to leave a legacy was in the form of a great monument of rock or stone – something that would not perish over time.
Napoleon Bonaparte once said:
“The human race is governed by its imagination.”
We are led and governed by the endless possibilities that lie ahead, untapped, unknown until someone reveals them. It’s a basic human desire to be remembered. Each of us deep inside wants to leave a legacy of sorts. We want to know that we have made a difference in this life – to someone - to our family, to our friends and for some people the power to influence and inspire tens or hundreds, even thousands, if not millions of people.

What kind of legacy do you wish to leave? Have you given any thought to the difference that you can make to other people’s lives? You have enormous power to do something positive in your life. Leadership is not the kind of thing to be taken lightly. It requires courage, fortitude and integrity. Leadership, like rock, is hard but once understood can transform lives – including your own.

Leadership means taking on more responsibilities.
Leadership is helping others before you help yourself.

As Winston Churchill said:
“We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”

Leadership is having the moral fortitude and integrity to do the right thing all the time – not just when someone is looking.

Leadership is leading people in the right direction.
Leadership is having enthusiasm, being energetic and sharing your time with others willingly. John Quincy Adams once said:

“ The influence of each human being on others, in this life, is a kind of immortality.”

It’s the kind of immortality, like the ancient peoples used – their immortality was in rock and stone, but your immortality can be in words and deeds and just as enduring. Be the sort of leader that leaves a legacy for others to follow in your footsteps, just like the Inuit people.

Be a rock. In other words, be strong for others to look up to and follow with confidence. Above all, be the kind of leader that people respect, can count on and trust.

“In matters of style, swim with the current,
In matters of principle, stand like a rock.”

Taking the Worry Out of the Return to School

Returning to school for most students is a positive experience – catching up with friends, meeting new people and the excitement of new learning combines in such a way that it seems young ones are running on adrenalin for the first week or so. Like all natural ‘highs’, there comes a time where it all catches up with your son or daughter and suddenly you find that they are tired very early in the day and wanting to sleep more and lacking energy. Also starting at a new school with new teachers, new subjects and new people can set up more stresses and strains.

Older students on the other hand, begin the year with determined effort, to stay on top of their studies and homework and will often stay up very late and insist that they ‘absolutely, have to’ get something completed before they go to bed which could be as late as midnight. The end result can be that students ‘overdo it in the first few weeks’ and for some students they then ‘hit a wall’ and say that it’s all too hard and it ends in tears. This can be upsetting for parents, who want to encourage their sons and daughters to achieve and do well, but at the same time don’t want them to be so emotional, worried and upset. It’s important to get the right balance because as parents you want to encourage your son or daughter to do well but at the same time, we need to set some sensible boundaries for homework and study.

Homework for the very youngest students (Prep to Year 3) - around 15 minutes is acceptable, Years 4 -7 about 30 – 60 minutes, Years 8 – 10 about 60 to 90 minutes and Years 11 and 12, around 2 to 3 hours is the norm. Obviously homework time and study time may vary depending on the day of the week and time of the year, upcoming examinations and due dates for assignments for example, however; with these time allocations in mind, parents will have a better sense of what is fair and reasonable for your child.

Please consider some of these simple strategies to help reduce stress any upset: around school, homework and study. Developing good routines with your son or daughter is one of the most important keys to the kind of good start you want for your child.

The Night before School:

• Develop routines with your son or daughter.
• Ensure that they are prepared for the next day – everything is packed the night before ready for school, PE clothes, Library books, Permission forms signed, homework completed etc.
• Students of all ages, need to get a good night’s sleep – 8 hours for everyone and younger students will need longer. Having a routine of the same bed time for younger students helps prepare them for sleep time.
• Quiet time before bed helps relax the brain. Quiet reading time for older students and reading stories to younger students will help this process. Blaring music or television or intense impact computer games will not relax your child and it will make the process of falling asleep difficult.

Before School

• Always – no matter what the rush – ensure that everyone has a good breakfast and students have a nutritious morning tea and lunch for school. The television ad that shows the ‘fuzziness of the brain without food’ is funny, but it’s also true. Growing children do need high energy foods – and not high energy ‘sugar’ drinks.
• Remind your child to drink plenty of water. Research shows that dehydration and a lack of water, also makes it difficult for students to concentrate in class.

After School:

• Listen to what your child has to say on the way home in the car (or when they arrive home) – this is where you get the best sense of how the day has gone; remember that students will be more emotional at this time than later – keep it all in perspective. Be reflective in your listening – don’t jump in and ask too many questions. Let your child tell you in their own way and rather than ask questions that only require a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ response, make statements that allow them to give a longer response.
• Let them change into casual clothes straight away
• Allow time for play or relaxation for an hour
• Have a set time for homework and make sure that they have a space to do the homework. It’s ok to do homework with you around but try to keep the noise to a minimum where possible and encourage your child to problem solve before seeking help from you. Avoid giving the answer to your child.
• Homework should not be stressful for the student or parent. If your child is having difficulty, either, write a note to the teacher or make a time to meet with the teacher to discuss the issue. The teachers at CCPS are here to help you, please talk to them sooner rather than later about any problems.
• Encourage your son or daughter to find solutions to his or her problems without your intervention. This is important to allow students to develop their own problem solving strategies. If they are having difficulty solving the problem, having a small break can help but not if the break is watching television which can become a huge time waster.
• Praise your child genuine efforts but avoid overdoing the praise. Be specific about what you are praising your child for and only give praise when it’s deserved.
• Encouragement and praise are powerful motivators for your son or daughter, use criticism sparingly and seek to find a positive way to encourage your son or daughter to work harder or to a higher level. Keep it fun and interesting!

No two people study the same way, and there is little doubt that what works for one person may not work for another. However, there are some general techniques that seem to produce good results. No one would argue that every subject that you have to take is going to be so interesting that studying it is not work but pleasure. We can only wish.

Everyone is different, and for some students, studying and being motivated to learn comes naturally. Your son or daughter’s success in school is dependent on his or her ability to study effectively and efficiently. The results of poor study skills are wasted time, frustration, and low or failing grades. All I can say, upon reflection of many years as a teacher, (and parents I know you will agree), is that time is precious and not to be squandered, no matter what your son or daughter believes right now.

Parents, my blog on 3 February, 2009 has much more detail, for older students, on how to study more effectively and includes some useful strategies for learning and studying sourced from a range of websites and books.

Effective study skills must be practised in order for you to improve. It is not enough to simply "think about" studying; you have to actually do it, and in the process use information from what you do, to get better. All that follows depends on this single concept. At school, I often talk to the students about setting a goal to improve by 10% - this is a relatively small percentage and is achievable. Over time, like compound interest the improvement in a student’s academic performance can be profound. The secret is to be persistent, to continue to practise the skills necessary to learn and over time, student achievements will improve too because:

"Practice doesn't make perfect; perfect practice makes perfect."

Author, Louise May Alcott, once wrote:

“Have regular hours for work and play;
Make each day both useful and pleasant,
And prove that you understand the worth
Of time by employing it well.

Then youth will be delightful,
Old age will bring few regrets and life
Will become a beautiful success,
In spite of poverty.”

A lovely sentiment to help keep us all grounded on life and the 'here and now'. Life is all about finding the right balance, don’t you think?

Karon Graham