A shift in our thinking is not always as easy as you might imagine. Sometimes we are so entrenched and indoctrinated in the way we think and learn, that it’s difficult to change our way of thinking or perceptions. This is why listening to new ideas and opening our minds to new possibilities is so important and like Stephen Covey suggests, we need to regularly ‘sharpen the saw’. All of us from time to time, should step back from our work environment or home environment and consider other possibilities in our way of thinking. This came in a surprising way as I was returning recently from the Expanding Learning Horizons (ELH) conference in Victoria.
I was travelling on a bus to the airport and happened to be sitting next to a astrophysicist (and trainee teacher by the way) who was explaining to me that he was working on a new theory of gravity because the current way of thinking about gravity did not allow for the many anomalies that exist in space. He went into some detail about quantam mechanics and how mathematically the current theories just don’t add up. One of the areas that he believes requires a change of thinking was in relation to light. He and another professor are collaborating on a hypothesis to prove that light travels at different speeds when coming from opposite ends of the universe, because the movement is fluid and not linear.
To say that I was lacking in some scientific knowledge would be an understatement, but I found this concept quite intriguing. He explained that proving such scientific theories was an incredibly long and arduous process and as a scientist it was very difficult to get funding and research grants to investigate and prove any hypothesis. (This is a poor reflection on our current commitment to research in Australia.) Convincing the so called experts in the field of quantam mechanics was nigh on impossible and I was reminded of poor Charles Darwin and the initial ridicule he encountered with his Theory of Evolution.
It seems that it's human nature to always doubt and be suspicious of something new. Whole books have been written on human’s basic distrust of something new. Why should we change our way of thinking? Why should we change the way we do things? Isn’t it easier to stay with what we know? Well the answer is an emphatic ‘no’. Albert Einstein, one of the greatest thinkers and scientists of our time, once said that in developing his theory of relativity he use to imagine sitting on a moonbeam travelling through space. Divergent thinking is necessary, if we are to arrive at a new place, a new understanding and a new paradigm.
How do people come up with these new ideas? Observations maybe or perhaps through sheer speculation? Do people work alone or do they learn from others and build on the knowledge that already exists? Does new learning come from a quantam leap or from gradual changes in our perception? Or is collaboration the key? The wise ones amongst you will immediately surmise that new learning and new ideas come from all of these ways and there is no one method that accounts for new ideas and thinking.
Even in teaching and learning there are many new theories about how people learn. There is a growing body of research that points to the fact that learning is not passive. Gone are the days of students sitting in front of a teacher and learning simply by listening to the teacher. Collaboration among students and teachers is now seen as an important way for young people to learn, particularly when it is an active discussion in the class or even with students in other countries or experts in different parts of the country or the world. No more are we limited by the classroom. Technology at CCS allows us to bring the world into the classroom and collaboration is going to be one of the most powerful learning tools of the next generation.
In his recent authoritative book, "Grown Up Digital", Don Tapscott (2009)makes the point that the Net Generation has grown up collaborating, sharing and creating together online. Students start internalising what they've learned in class only once they start talking to each other. Tapscott goes on to say that collaborative learning to be the more effective learning to be more effective in increasing academic performance than individual or competitive learning.
Why is collaboration so important to the discovery of new understanding and new ideas? Isaac Newton hit it on the head (no pun intended) when he said:
“If I have seen further than others, it is by standing upon the shoulders of giants.”
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Coping with Life's Struggles
STRUGGLES OF LIFE
Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life.
If we were allowed to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us.
We would not be as strong as we could have been.
I asked for Strength…
And I was given difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for Wisdom ….
And I was given problems to solve.
I asked for Prosperity …
And I was given a brain and brawn to work.
I asked for Courage ….
And I was given obstacles to overcome.
I asked for Love ….
And I was given troubled people to help.
I asked for Favours …..
And I was given Opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted ….
But I received EVERYTHING I needed.
Sometimes, struggles are exactly what we need in our life.
If we were allowed to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us.
We would not be as strong as we could have been.
I asked for Strength…
And I was given difficulties to make me strong.
I asked for Wisdom ….
And I was given problems to solve.
I asked for Prosperity …
And I was given a brain and brawn to work.
I asked for Courage ….
And I was given obstacles to overcome.
I asked for Love ….
And I was given troubled people to help.
I asked for Favours …..
And I was given Opportunities.
I received nothing I wanted ….
But I received EVERYTHING I needed.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Top Ten Tips to Parents of Teens
As adults we look back on our teenage years with mixed emotions - some fond memories, some humour, some angst, some discomfort of what we did or said or how we dressed, (Looking at old photos that captured the latest fashion fad or hairstyle twenty years ago, can be a source of great amusement to our children.) Some of us actually only remember happy childhood memories by blotting out our more painful memories and experiences of our youth and the trials and tribulations of growing up. It’s fair to say that teenage years can be the most trying years of our lives – not just for adolescents but for parents too. One very droll person wrote:
“Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years.”
Teenage years are about hormones kicking in, growing independence and autonomy, trying on different personalities and testing boundaries to the ‘nth’ degree. Teenagers question everything – every rule at home or at school. Hard to believe that your obedient and happy child at 12 years of age turns from a compliant, caring and understanding person into something very different. So different that it can seem like you’re living with an alien from ‘Star Wars’ for a while – very tensing – no-one speaks the same language and it seems like there is a ‘battle a day’. A parent asked me recently to write a little about this stage of adolescent behaviour and what they could do as a parent.
When I googled ‘advice to parents about teenagers’ I was surprised to see over 34 million sites listed. Not all of them good sites mind you, but there was some comfort in knowing that so much information about parenting and teenagers was on line. One site that I thought might be useful to parents is: http://www.byparents-forparents.com/
Having survived the perils of parenting teenagers and having had some contact with teenagers over the last 35 years in secondary schools, I thought I would share some useful things that I’ve learned along the way.
My top ten tips are:
• Listen attentively and be reflective. Listen attentively to what your teenager has to say (even if it’s monosyllabic). Be reflective in your responses so that they understand that you’re listening – it’s often helpful to use some of the same language in your response. Avoid giving advice and immediate solutions. Lead them in a way that allows them to suggest solutions of their own.
• Don’t lecture or yell. The best advice I can give, is to give no advice. Teenagers turn off listening very quickly, and so to go over an issue time and again, is a sure way to have your teenager ignore you. Keep it short and simple and be very clear on what you expect to happen. It’s amazing how someone else can say exactly the same thing as you the parent, but your teenager listens and seems to appreciate the other person’s point of view more than yours. (Don’t get upset about this - this too will pass in time.) Never, ever yell; there’s nowhere to go from this loss of self control and do not say anything that you might later regret. Find a quiet place for you (and your teenager, if necessary) to cool off and calm down before talking again.
• Set boundaries. Your teenager may make out that everyone else is doing something and you’re the only parent (in the class, the school or the whole world), who is not letting them go out or go to a particular social or whatever it is. Don’t be fooled by this ‘timeless ploy’ of your son or daughter. Talk to other parents. Teenagers don’t like it when parents talk to other parents to find out who’s at home or supervising the party. Ask the other parent, if it’s okay for your son or daughter to sleep over or go out with their teenager. Just because you want a positive relationship, doesn't mean your teenager is in charge. Parents, you have to take control here. Your teenager should agree to a time to be home. If they don’t arrive on time, they should be grounded or have some other consequence.
• Say ‘no’ and mean it. As one comic said: “No,” is a complete sentence. Don’t’ cave in to constant nagging or emotional blackmail. It’s tough not to give in to your child, but it’s worth it in the long run, your children will respect you. As Randy Pausch said in The Last Lecture: "Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."
• Give your teenager responsibilities and let them take ownership. It’s important that everyone has a job to do at home and as your teenager grows older, giving them more responsibilities, like cooking the family meal, is a good way to help them become a ‘master chef’ in their own right. Praise your child – but don’t overdo it! Praise for real achievements and hard effort. Make it genuine and keep it simple.
• Teach your teenager to persevere. If things come too easily to teenagers, they don’t treat it with respect and they don’t value it. Some parents can be overprotective to the detriment of the child’s social-emotional growth. Don’t fight your teenager’s battles. Teenagers need to experience the ‘ups and downs’ of life, the setbacks and the wonderful sense of accomplishment when they succeed all by themself. Bill Gates once gave a lecture to graduating students and this memorable quote: “Life is not fair -- get used to it!”
• Reward after the good deed – not before. Make sure you are not rewarding your teenager for something you would normally expect them to do. Setting some goals and rewarding the achievement of these goals is good positive reinforcement. It’s an important lesson in life to teach your teenager to set goals and have a plan of action to achieve what they want in life. Doing without something is character building, don’t think your child is disadvantaged if they don’t have the latest gadget, mobile phone or clothing.
• Always treat your teenager with respect. If your teenager is in trouble, no matter how bad the situation, always treat them with respect. Ensure that they know that you’re upset with their behaviour and what they have done. Let them know how you feel and give them a specific example so they understand completely. Keep in mind that each of your children is very different and will react differently to you, so don’t assume that what worked with one teenager will work for another. Sorry, but it rarely happens this way.
• Demand and expect respect from your teenager. The attitude of teenagers at times can try the patience of a saint, let alone us mere mortal parents. Teenagers need to be told when they are out of line; don’t shy away from expressing your disappointment or expressing your expectations. Life in the real world is a lot tougher, if they don’t respect you, they will not respect anyone. Reinforce politeness and good manners at home, expect it always.
• No one is perfect – teach your teenager to learn from their mistakes. You may wonder if your teenager will ever ‘get it’. Some teenagers take longer than others to ‘do the right thing’. Some teenagers are a dream, but most parents experience serious emotional pain during the teenage years and doubt their own parenting skills, but in spite of this self-doubt, never give up or give in. I know this from first- hand experience. Bill Gates made this point very clear to his teenage audience:
“If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.”
If it’s any consolation parents, keep in mind Mark Twain’s famous quote:
“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” ~Mark Twain, "Old Times on the Mississippi" Atlantic Monthly, 1874
“Adolescence is a period of rapid changes. Between the ages of 12 and 17, for example, a parent ages as much as 20 years.”
Teenage years are about hormones kicking in, growing independence and autonomy, trying on different personalities and testing boundaries to the ‘nth’ degree. Teenagers question everything – every rule at home or at school. Hard to believe that your obedient and happy child at 12 years of age turns from a compliant, caring and understanding person into something very different. So different that it can seem like you’re living with an alien from ‘Star Wars’ for a while – very tensing – no-one speaks the same language and it seems like there is a ‘battle a day’. A parent asked me recently to write a little about this stage of adolescent behaviour and what they could do as a parent.
When I googled ‘advice to parents about teenagers’ I was surprised to see over 34 million sites listed. Not all of them good sites mind you, but there was some comfort in knowing that so much information about parenting and teenagers was on line. One site that I thought might be useful to parents is: http://www.byparents-forparents.com/
Having survived the perils of parenting teenagers and having had some contact with teenagers over the last 35 years in secondary schools, I thought I would share some useful things that I’ve learned along the way.
My top ten tips are:
• Listen attentively and be reflective. Listen attentively to what your teenager has to say (even if it’s monosyllabic). Be reflective in your responses so that they understand that you’re listening – it’s often helpful to use some of the same language in your response. Avoid giving advice and immediate solutions. Lead them in a way that allows them to suggest solutions of their own.
• Don’t lecture or yell. The best advice I can give, is to give no advice. Teenagers turn off listening very quickly, and so to go over an issue time and again, is a sure way to have your teenager ignore you. Keep it short and simple and be very clear on what you expect to happen. It’s amazing how someone else can say exactly the same thing as you the parent, but your teenager listens and seems to appreciate the other person’s point of view more than yours. (Don’t get upset about this - this too will pass in time.) Never, ever yell; there’s nowhere to go from this loss of self control and do not say anything that you might later regret. Find a quiet place for you (and your teenager, if necessary) to cool off and calm down before talking again.
• Set boundaries. Your teenager may make out that everyone else is doing something and you’re the only parent (in the class, the school or the whole world), who is not letting them go out or go to a particular social or whatever it is. Don’t be fooled by this ‘timeless ploy’ of your son or daughter. Talk to other parents. Teenagers don’t like it when parents talk to other parents to find out who’s at home or supervising the party. Ask the other parent, if it’s okay for your son or daughter to sleep over or go out with their teenager. Just because you want a positive relationship, doesn't mean your teenager is in charge. Parents, you have to take control here. Your teenager should agree to a time to be home. If they don’t arrive on time, they should be grounded or have some other consequence.
• Say ‘no’ and mean it. As one comic said: “No,” is a complete sentence. Don’t’ cave in to constant nagging or emotional blackmail. It’s tough not to give in to your child, but it’s worth it in the long run, your children will respect you. As Randy Pausch said in The Last Lecture: "Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted."
• Give your teenager responsibilities and let them take ownership. It’s important that everyone has a job to do at home and as your teenager grows older, giving them more responsibilities, like cooking the family meal, is a good way to help them become a ‘master chef’ in their own right. Praise your child – but don’t overdo it! Praise for real achievements and hard effort. Make it genuine and keep it simple.
• Teach your teenager to persevere. If things come too easily to teenagers, they don’t treat it with respect and they don’t value it. Some parents can be overprotective to the detriment of the child’s social-emotional growth. Don’t fight your teenager’s battles. Teenagers need to experience the ‘ups and downs’ of life, the setbacks and the wonderful sense of accomplishment when they succeed all by themself. Bill Gates once gave a lecture to graduating students and this memorable quote: “Life is not fair -- get used to it!”
• Reward after the good deed – not before. Make sure you are not rewarding your teenager for something you would normally expect them to do. Setting some goals and rewarding the achievement of these goals is good positive reinforcement. It’s an important lesson in life to teach your teenager to set goals and have a plan of action to achieve what they want in life. Doing without something is character building, don’t think your child is disadvantaged if they don’t have the latest gadget, mobile phone or clothing.
• Always treat your teenager with respect. If your teenager is in trouble, no matter how bad the situation, always treat them with respect. Ensure that they know that you’re upset with their behaviour and what they have done. Let them know how you feel and give them a specific example so they understand completely. Keep in mind that each of your children is very different and will react differently to you, so don’t assume that what worked with one teenager will work for another. Sorry, but it rarely happens this way.
• Demand and expect respect from your teenager. The attitude of teenagers at times can try the patience of a saint, let alone us mere mortal parents. Teenagers need to be told when they are out of line; don’t shy away from expressing your disappointment or expressing your expectations. Life in the real world is a lot tougher, if they don’t respect you, they will not respect anyone. Reinforce politeness and good manners at home, expect it always.
• No one is perfect – teach your teenager to learn from their mistakes. You may wonder if your teenager will ever ‘get it’. Some teenagers take longer than others to ‘do the right thing’. Some teenagers are a dream, but most parents experience serious emotional pain during the teenage years and doubt their own parenting skills, but in spite of this self-doubt, never give up or give in. I know this from first- hand experience. Bill Gates made this point very clear to his teenage audience:
“If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.”
If it’s any consolation parents, keep in mind Mark Twain’s famous quote:
“When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” ~Mark Twain, "Old Times on the Mississippi" Atlantic Monthly, 1874
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