What's the Secret to Success in Life?

If you had a magic wand, what would you change? Now before you go thinking that this is a deep philosophical question, which it is, what would be most important to you? Would it be something about your appearance, your health, your finances, your career, or your neighbours? Would you change your game of golf or tennis, your car, or the general pace of life or something more altruistic like ‘world peace’? Or maybe you’re like me and just want ‘peace at home’. How good would that be?

How many times have you heard someone (or ourselves, for that matter) say, “If only I could do such and such a thing, or be this person, or change some other aspect of our life?” Or maybe you are one of the rare exceptions though, who is very happy with everything in your life? Okay, these people are generally monks, who live in some remote region like the Himalayan mountains. Yes surprisingly, they really are. A research study on happiness done a few years ago ranked monks, who meditated in these remote regions, amongst the happiest people on earth.

It seems that its human nature that we yearn for the best or we simply want more in life. Some people are never happy with their life or life choices. They think that if they had, for example, more money, or more friends or a bigger house or better job, that they would be happy or successful. Interestingly, however, getting more of something does not necessarily bring about happiness, nor does it bring about greater satisfaction either. As many people have found over time, happiness is an intrinsic attitude to life – we either make up our minds to be happy or not.

Some students think that if they had more intelligence or had different circumstances, that they could do better in life or in school. If someone were to say to them exactly how they can achieve more, would they want to pay the price? It’s a common misconception that some people are born smarter, or are more good looking or come from a wealthy family, and that’s why they are successful or happy. The reality is though that many great musicians, sportspeople, academics or business people are successful for very different reasons.

What do technology tycoons Bill Gates and Steve Jobs, basketball superstar, Michael Jordan, All Star Canadian Ice Hockey players have in common? Not much you might be thinking, but surprisingly they do share certain circumstances that account for their success.

In his thought provoking book “Outliers – The Story of Success”, Malcolm Gladwell argues that his research on people who have become successful, demonstrates through a series of totally unrelated people and circumstances, how successful people have become successful. Was there anything magical about how it happened? Maybe, but, by and large many of the most successful people became successful, according to Gladwell because of :

• hard work - one of the keys to success in life, he argues
• persistence - no one succeeds without this key ingredient
• 10,000 hours of deliberate practice are required to become the most successful – whether programming a computer, practising basketball, ice hockey or in science – 10,00 hours of deliberate practice makes perfect
• an element of luck or serendipity - like being in the right place at the right time - but some people seem to make their own luck don’t they?
• timing – the year or even the date born was a factor with some sporting stars who were ‘young for cut-off dates for sporting teams and had advantage of more expert coaching and team competition
• cultural and family circumstances plant the seeds of success – particularly where parents set high expectations and encourage or rehearse their children for success in all aspects of their life.

According to Gladwell (p19):

“People don’t rise from nothing. We do owe something to parentage and patronage. The people who stand before kings may look like they did it all by themselves. But in fact they are invariably the beneficiaries of hidden advantages and extraordinary opportunities and cultural legacies that allow them to learn and work hard and make sense of the world in ways others cannot.
It makes a difference where and when we grew up. The culture we belong to and the legacies passed down by our forebears shape the patterns of our achievement in ways we cannot begin to imagine. It’s not enough to ask what successful people are like, in other words. It is only by asking where they are ‘from’ that we can unravel the logic behind who succeeds and who doesn’t.”

Now how does this information benefit us personally or our children? In John Hattie’s groundbreaking research book Visible Learning, he synthesises over 800 meta-analyses relating to achievement and found that the top contributor to student achievement gains is prior achievement. In other words, what a child brings to the classroom each year is very much related to their achievement in previous years.

According to Hattie’s findings,(and this will be no surprise to most parents and teachers), students were very knowledgeable about their chances of success and overall if students had higher expectations of success, then they were more likely to succeed than students who did not expect to succeed. Hattie also found that the home environment and parental involvement in learning, parental expectations of students and parental aspirations where the parents are actively involved in the students learning, contributed significantly to student achievement improvement over time. The secret to success is not such a big secret after all.

Commitment to succeeding it seems is as good a predictor of success as many other factors. Parents and students should take heart from these findings as they demonstrate again, that there is no secret to success. Success comes from the interplay of hard work, perspiration and persistence, commitment and family expectations and student expectations and aspirations of how successful they want to be. In conclusion I will leave you with these thoughts from famous Scottish athlete W. H. Murray:

“Until one is committed
There is hesitancy, the chance to draw back,
always ineffectiveness.
Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation)
there is one elementary truth,
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas
and splendid plans:
that the moment one definitely commits oneself,
then Providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one
That would otherwise never have occurred.
A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one’s favour all manner
of unforseen incidents and meetings
and material assistance,
which no man or woman could have dreamt
would have come his or her way.”

(p.s. Did I mention the 10,000 hours of deliberate practice too?)

Karon Graham
Principal

"Where is Wisdom we have Lost in Knowledge?"

“Nothing seems to be more prominent about human life than its wanting to understand all and put everything together.”
(R. Buckminster-Fuller, Operating Manual for Spaceship Earth, p79)

Many years ago in 1966, American economist, Kenneth Boulding, published, what was to become his most famous essay ‘The Economics of the Coming Spaceship Earth’ and in 1969 Buckminster-Fuller wrote Operating Manual for Spaceship Earth. Drawing on the Apollo 8 mission, both authors were convinced that there had to be a paradigm shift in how we thought about our planet, from ‘cowboy economy’ to ‘spaceship economy’.

Essentially, both authors predicted a shift from the ‘cowboy’ economy of individualism, independence, autocracy, humanity against nature, intercultural and religious intolerance to a ‘spaceship’ culture of community, interdependency, democracy, humanity as part of nature, gender equality, and cultural and religious tolerance. It’s not that we deliberately set out to change our way of thinking, but like in many instances, our perspective on ‘life as we know it’ was transformed in the blink of an eye by one historic event.

The stark image of earth taken from space on Apollo 8 was one such turning point. Like the opening scenes of the brilliant 1968 movie by Stanley Kubrick, 2010: A Space Odyssey, we were changed forever by the images we saw; they were inspirational and transforming. I remember one of the astronauts marvelling at the view from space and making the comment that there are no borders on earth from space.

“The first day or so we all pointed to our countries. The third or fourth day we were pointing to our continents. By the fifth day, we were aware of only one Earth." --Sultan bin Salman Al-Saud and astronaut, Muhammad Ahmad Faris:
"From space I saw Earth -- indescribably beautiful and with the scars of national boundaries gone."

Over the last fifty years there has been a definite shift in the way we think about our place on earth, in particular, the shift to a global perspective, from that of a local almost introspective national perspective. The concept of a global village has become a reality as satellites, the internet, increasing fast and easy world travel and instant messaging, have ‘shrunk’ our world. The speed at which information is now transmitted is breathtaking and it has transformed the way we think about the world – our paradigm has altered forever. Our sons and daughters are growing up in this world; this is their norm.

Innovation comes about by changing the way we think about what we do, how we do it and why we do things a certain way. Peter Ellyard, author of ‘Ideas for the New Millennium’, argues that innovation requires innovative people. Innovation, he believes, will only come about if we have two key elements in play: creativity and enterprise.(p77) Equipping our children with essential skills of life-long learning; giving our young people the skills and the wherewithal to be use initiative, drive, knowledge, wisdom and hunger to create, innovate and succeed is critical for their future success and the future of our world.


Teachers and students work together to discover new ways, new thinking and new paradigms. Albert Szent-Gyorgyi put it this way:

Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought.

Our students will amaze you with what they have achieved. Just a few recent examples:

• Transformed stories from Year 4 buddies and create animated digital stories
• Created their own website on environmental matters and learned the power of writing and receiving over $500 and a water tank in Years 3 and 4
• Developed virtual travel itineraries in Year 1
• Skyped a student from their Year 4 class to London to help a young boy who has left the school
• Year 9 students are creating a digital game (using KODU) for Year 2 students
• Year 10 students are creating a Vodcast to assist in subject selection for Year 11
• Created a sophisticated, professional design of an object using Inventor in Year 12 Graphics and a mobile device in Year 9 Graphics
• Year 12 ITS have just completed developing House websites using Dreamweaver

Teachers too have created some exciting ways of inspiring our students, like the now famous CCPS “Captain Energy” on YouTube, which is the brainchild of a certain Year 2 teacher.

In this world of "instant information", it's timely to remember the words of famous poet, T S Eliot:

"Where is wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?”

Schools must meet the needs of the future generations leading this planet. The students need skills in problem solving, metacognition, innovative and creative thinking as well as good knowledge and depth of understanding that goes far beyond the surface. Our students need to be thinking globally, as well as acting locally. Good teachers can make the world of difference to our students achievements, and to their future aspirations for themselves and their generation - especially the teachers at Caloundra City Private School.

Karon Graham

Principal

What's the Fascination with Lists?

Have you ever wondered why we are so fascinated by lists of things? We seem to love lists of countdowns to ‘number one’, lists of the top ten or the top one hundred. Why is it that people sit glued to the television to see the countdown to the number one song of all time, or the funniest home video? Why are we so absorbed by The Guinness Book of Records, or Time magazine’s: The World’s Top 100 Most Influential People, or the list of the most glamorous or the richest people in the world, or for that matter, the fastest lap by some celebrity on the Top Gear race track in some remote and obscure area of London?

Why do we keep lists (sometimes in our heads) of the best or favourite movies, songs, or sporting teams? Why do we care what someone else thinks about who’s the best, the fastest, the toughest, the funniest? What does it matter? Well it seems it matters to us a great deal. Lists like these appeal to our natural curiosity and our competitive nature. Maybe too, it’s the debate that goes on around who or what was the number one or who or what was left off the list that we enjoy the most? As any good family debater knows – it can often be a ‘no win’ argument. As one husband quipped to his wife, “If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.”

Lists, by definition, give us some sort of order in our lives – from the mundane, like our weekly grocery shopping lists, or the daily ‘to do lists’, to the sublime, like in the movie, The Bucket List, where actors Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicholson wrote a list of their top ten things to do before they died. As we get older or when become ill, life and how we spend our time takes on a whole new meaning. It’s as if everything comes into sharp focus and we become centred on what’s most important in our life. A bucket list can become a life transforming list.

Noted time management experts and life skills coaches, like Jack Collis and Michael Leboeuf, extol the virtues of lists and setting goals. In their best-selling book, Work Smarter, Not Harder, the authors argue that without lists, without a plan, without goals, we can often live an aimless and purposeless life. The clear message is to make every day count. Merrill Douglass put it this way:
Many people assume that they can probably find many ways to save time. This is an incorrect assumption for it is only when you focus on spending time that you begin to use your time effectively.

There are many benefits to making lists and students in particular can benefit by making lists of their own.
• Lists allow us to take sometimes complex information and simplify it. The alphabet is nothing more than a list of letters and a dictionary a list of words.
• Lists aid our memory retention and are a very useful way to recall disparate information.
• Lists help us organise our lives and keep important goals at the forefront. Doing a ‘to do’ list each day allows us to prioritise our goals – short term and long term - and keeps us focused, not just on the here and now, but also on the future.
• Lists can give us a sense of achievement as we move from one day to the next – sometimes because we wonder what if anything, we accomplished during the day.
• Lists can be powerful motivators, once we have prioritised our goals for the day, or the week or the year for that matter, we can move forward with a sense of purpose and satisfaction.

A word of caution about making lists though. We can sometimes be so caught up with the day to day lists that we lose sight of the big picture in life. It’s important to keep life in perspective; it’s not the end of the world if we don’t complete all of our ‘to do’ lists and our success and happiness is not necessarily measured by how many things we have crossed off our lists. A few wise words to ponder:
Remember where you have been and know where you are going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savoured each step of the way. (Nikita Koloff)

Students benefit by being organised and parents can help their children to become better organisers by encouraging them to make simple lists. For example, someone should have spent some time with the children listing what needs to happen before and on Mother’s Day. Why? Because mums deserve it!
• Buy present for mums – Mother’s Day Stall at School on Friday - check
• Organise breakfast in bed - check
• Talk to children about being on their best behaviour (at least until breakfast is over and presents given) - check
• Lavish love and affection on mums all day Sunday - check

See how useful lists can be? I would like to take this opportunity to wish all mothers a very Happy Mother’s Day on Sunday and hopefully the above list will materialise as if by magic on the day.

Overcoming Challenges in Life

Everyday life has plenty of challenges don’t you think? Just getting a family organised and ready for school or work is challenge enough most mornings. Lost socks, school hats, bags, car keys, making lunches, early morning training or practices, can push us to the brink, even before the day truly starts. In the scheme of things though, these small challenges are just that – very small challenges – even though they can put us in a cranky mood. Keeping life in perspective is very important for our sense of well being and happiness.

Some of us of course, have far worse challenges to deal with and in many cases, the rest of the world is oblivious to what we are going through. It might be a serious health issue, a difficult relationship, a death of a loved one, financial difficulties or some other problem that is causing us to worry or be concerned. Being happy in the face of these difficulties is not easy and I don’t mean to make light of the challenges that each of us faces. Ironically though, it’s not what happens to us in life that determines our happiness, but how we react to what happens. Ultimately, it’s our attitude to what happens that makes us happy or unhappy. Abraham Lincoln once said:

Most people are about as happy as they make up their mind to be.

Every day we experience the highs and lows of life, the good news and the bad. Life can be like a roller coaster ride – thrilling, exhilarating, frightening, uplifting and depressing – so many emotions, all in the space of a short period of time. No one day is the same. Some days we run on adrenalin and others we rejoice in the contentment of life. The secret to happiness in life is to find joy, or opportunity or a silver lining, if you like, in all the situations that confront us. Granted this is easier said than done, but it'w worth the effort in the long run.

There is an old Chinese proverb that I love: Sāi Wēng Lost his Horse

Sāi Wēng, a Chinese farmer, lived on the border and he raised horses for a living. One day he lost a horse and his neighbour felt sorry for him, but Sāi Wēng, the philosophical farmer, replied to his neighbour, “Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?”

After a while the horse returned with another beautiful horse, and the neighbour congratulated him on his good luck. But Sāi Wēng thought that maybe it wasn’t necessarily a good thing to have this new horse. The farmer replied to his neighbour,” Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?”

The farmer’s son liked the new horse a lot and often took it riding. One day his son fell off the horse and broke his leg. Again his neighbour felt sorry for the farmer. But the old farmer replied, “Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?”

When the military came to collect all the young men in the village, the farmer’s son couldn’t go off to war because of his broken leg. Most of the young men in the village died in the war. Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?

Each of us has the power to change the way we think about things. We can think good thoughts or we can think bad thoughts. We can think the best or worse of a situation. It’s up to us how we react to the situation. Experts in the field of human psychology and psychiatry, like, Dr Ross Harris who wrote the best seller, The Happiness Trap, tell us that we must acknowledge the negative thoughts that go through our mind and learn to defuse them. This may take some practice, but learning how to do this can be life altering.

Another author, Joshua Marine, has this to offer:

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes
life meaningful.

As Easter approaches and Anzac Day on Monday, we should pause and reflect on all of those people who have made great sacrifices for us, so that we might enjoy the life that we do. The challenges faced by those who went to war and died, and the challenges faced by those who went to war and survived are indescribably horrid. The physical injuries and the emotional scars can last a lifetime.

It’s time to take stock of the positives and list all the good things in our life and acknowledge all that we love, if for no other reason than to celebrate the very freedom that these people died to preserve. As I shared on Assembly on Tuesday:

Although the war in which you fought took place nearly a century ago, your courage, your sacrifice and your patriotism reaches through the decades and inspires us – even today.

We remember you,
We salute your courage,
We say in our hearts,
Thank God for your sacrifices.
Lest we forget.

Karon Graham

Principal CCPS

What's Different about Gen Z?

There’s something about Gen Z – the Next Net Generation. Technology is like air to them. Gen Z has grown up with computers and all forms of digital media in the same way that the Baby Boomers grew up with the television. Even the brains of Gen Z are different; their brains are wired differently from other generations.

In his book The Brain That Changes Itself, author, researcher and psychiatrist Norman Doidge, explodes the myth that the anatomy of the brain stays the same, that after childhood, the brain changed only when it began the process of decline or when the brain cells failed to develop properly, or were injured, or died, they could not be replaced. Nor according to some, could the brain ever alter its structure and find a new way to function if part of it was damaged. Doidge discovered through his research, the phenomenon of neuroplasticity, where the brain changed its very structure with each different activity it performed, perfecting its circuits so it was better suited to the task at hand. One of the scientists that Doidge worked with showed that thinking, learning and acting can turn our genes on or off, thus shaping our brain anatomy and our behaviour – this is one of the most extraordinary discoveries of our time. Children’s brains can change to a much larger degree than adult brains and according to Dr Stan Kutcher, that the ‘events of our lives get etched in the very physical structure and the activities of the brain’. Research carried out shows that current Gen Z has spent over 20,000 hours on the Internet and over 10,000 hours playing video games of some sort and this immersion, Tapscott notes, is happening at a critical time when the brain is particularly sensitive to outside influences. The studies show that brain regions associated with attention, evaluation of rewards, emotional intelligence, impulse control and goal-directed behaviour all change significantly between age 12 and 24. The neurological changes in the teenagers brains, may in part explain why many teenagers appear to be disorganised, have poor impulse control and have difficulty making long term plans.

So what changes have researchers noted about Gen Z or Generation Next who are born between 1998 and present – now up to 14 years old: • Young people who play video games, notice more; they process visual information more quickly • Those who play video games also acquire other skills of manual dexterity – particularly in eye-hand coordination • Gaming is a lesson in trial and error and young people who play these games are part of ‘accidental learning’ – adjusting to new culture rather than learning ‘about’ culture. • Net Geners don’t always start at the Beginning, they are visual experts, and multi-taskers – they leap around in search of information and their cognitive functions are parallel rather than sequential. • Gen Z are using technology in a way that will make them smarter, but think differently from previous generations. As educators we need to accommodate a very different type of learner to the way we learnt – their brains are wired differently. What’s different about Gen Z? According to Don Tapscott, author of Grown up Digital: • They want freedom in everything they do, from freedom of choice to freedom of expression – choice is like oxygen to them – proliferation of products, brands • They love to customise, personalise – website, ringtone, screen saver, news sources • They are the new scrutinizers – on line engagement will become increasingly important • They look for corporate integrity and openness when deciding what to buy and where to work. • The Net Gen wants entertainment and play in their work, education and social life. 82% of 2-17 year olds have regular access to video games.- they have been bred on interactive experiences. Baby Boomers used to ‘live to work’, while the Net Geners ‘work to live’. • They are the collaboration and relationship generation. They collaborate on FaceBook, video games, text one another constantly, twitter, share files for school or just for fun. (email is just “so yesterday”…) • The Net Gen has a need for speed in everything – video games, live chat – everything is real time. • They are innovators – innovation is now on hyper-drive – faster than most of us can keep up with, let alone comprehend. Gen Y and Gen Z have grown up with computers, the Internet,, iPods, iPads, mobile phones, GPS coordinates, swap messages and social networking, like FaceBook – they monitor every single aspect of their friends’ lives.. The implications for teaching and learning of Gen Z are quite profound. At Caloundra City Private School we recognise the differences in the way children learn and ensure that our teaching and learning program caters is quite specific ways, namely: • More focus on the student, not the teacher – student centred learning is the norm • Customised learning for individual needs – ‘one size does not fit all – one size fits one’ Individualised learning tailored for different levels of ability and interest, like in the Excellence Forums, or HeadStart at Sunshine Coast University, and students studying subject ‘off line’ and working independently. • Differentiated learning where different tasks, activities and topics covered to allow students to pursue their own areas of interest within broad themes or topics. • Students are more research savvy – they do more of the leg work – not the teacher – encouraging lifelong learning – learning is not just about the here and now, it’s also about the future. • Students become the creators – discovery learning is the norm, not the exception – website – Up the Dry Gully – created by Year 3 students for other students – which won a state award for our students. • Students become the ‘movers and shakers’ with teacher guidance – for example the initiative of the Year 4 students - water tank and Year 6 students with the Earth Hour at School. • The students are collaborators in learning and outcomes, for example the excellent digital stories of the Year 10 students who collaborated with Year 4 students to animate the stories that Year 4 students made up in class. • Deeper learning is more evident at the School and more interactive learning • Connected globally – like our live skype to students on Exchange in Canada and Scotland during our whole School Assembly.

Students from Pre-Prep to Year 12 are growing up in a digital world, the one that they know is very different from the one we grew up in years ago. Catering for learning of the Gen Z and Gen Y – the very young, coming through our school, is something that we do very well at Caloundra City Private School. Embracing the new technology – Toshiba Tablets, Apple MacBooks, iPads, Interactive whiteboards, and sophisticated and professional software like Adobe Premium - and using the technology it in a meaningful day to day context, means that our students have the very best of learning opportunities. They don’t leave school to learn, they gain all the life- long learning skills necessary for the future world, right here, right now.

Karon Graham

Principal

Lessons Learned from Family

What do parents really want? Many of us might immediately dream of an ideal family lifestyle and family arrangements, with perfect children who are well behaved at all times, and who are obliging and helpful. We may imagine endless time for all of those fun family outings, but in our ‘heart of hearts’ we know that the reality of family life is very different .

Family life can be very messy, sometimes confronting and most times very hectic. Many parents feel like they are the designated taxi driver, taking children, as well as our friend’s children, from one activity to another, only to get home at the end of a hard day’s work, exhausted from the mental and physical strain of it all. It’s no wonder that tensions are high in most families at dinner time and it’s not surprising that the pressure gets to us over time – particularly towards the end of the school term.

Family life is far from perfect, but is this, such a bad thing? Think about the lessons learned daily in any family. Within family life, we learn about ‘give and take’, we learn about helping other people before ourselves, we learn about failure and how to move forward, we learn about bouncing back from a setback, we learn about our place in the family pecking order, we learn how to wait our turn and to make the most of every precious minute. Let’s face it, most of life’s most important lessons are either learnt at home or at school.

Many famous people have overcome great hardship and many setbacks before achieving a successful and fulfilling life. It’s almost as if some people have achieved in spite of, or even because of adversity. In his book “Being Happy”, Andrew Matthews lists some very well known historical figures, who have achieved greatness in the face of adversity. Abraham Lincoln failed in business at 22 years of age, lost a legislative race at 23, again failed in business at 25, had his sweetheart die when he was 26, had a nervous breakdown at 27, lost congressional races aged 34, 37, and 39, lost a senatorial race aged 46, failed in his efforts to become vice president of the USA aged 47 and lost a further senatorial contest at 49. At 52 years of age; however, Abraham Lincoln was elected president of the USA and is now remembered - not for all of his failures - but for being one of the greatest leaders in world history. Another great leader, Winston Churchill was a poor student with a speech impediment. Not only did he go on to win a Nobel Prize, but he became one of the most inspiring speakers of recent times.

What do parents really want in a school? The answer will probably not surprise you, because I suspect it’s for many of the same reasons that you have chosen to send your child to this School. Research carried out by ISQ, earlier this year, asking thousands of parents what they value about independent schools, revealed the following top three priorities for parents:
• preparation for students to fulfil their potential in life
• good discipline; and
• encouragement of a responsible attitude to work.

In summary, parents want an educational environment where students have every opportunity to succeed in their future lives. Realising your own potential is one of the most powerful motivators for future success in life. It doesn’t necessarily happen easily and requires great determination on the part of each individual.

In our hectic lives, and particularly in our family lives and school lives, we don’t always get it right. No one gets it right all of the time and I am the first to admit this. We can learn much by listening to one another. Many years ago I came across the story of: “The Carrot, the Egg and the Coffee” and thought I would share it with you.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.
Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?"
"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as he tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mum?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity.. boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

"Life asks of every individual a contribution and it is up to that individual to discover what it should be." (Viktor Frankl)

Karon Graham
Principal Caloundra City Private School

Where are you Going?

Where are you going? A simple enough question, but let’s face it, it really is a loaded question, isn’t it? Some people might reframe this question by asking whether it refers to the ‘here and now’ or a time in the future. Some people can answer this question instantly, while others struggle to answer the question with any certainty about the present, let alone some point in the distant future. While it’s true that how you answer this question depends upon the context, most of us need to stop and think about it. Many people may spend much of their life searching for direction, a focus or purpose in life, just like Alice, from the famous novel by Lewis Carroll:

"Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?" asked Alice.
"That depends a good deal on where you want to get to," said the Cat.
"I don’t much care where," said Alice.
"Then it doesn’t matter which way you go," said the Cat.
(Alice's Adventures in Wonderland)

Parents in particular may worry about this ‘don’t care’ attitude on the part of their teenagers, who are yet to decide what career pathway, or tertiary course or future direction that they wish to pursue. Big decisions like this take time and the earlier parents start to talk to their teenagers about possible careers, the better.

Some students often lack motivation to do well at school because they’re not sure what they want to do after school. It can be a challenging and daunting prospect for many teenagers and a frustrating time for parents to say the least. Motivating and encouraging our teenagers requires stamina, patience and perseverance but it’s definitely worth the effort. Many students simply don’t know what they want to do because they haven’t found that one spark, or that one passion, that engages and excites them enough to consider a whole lifetime pursuing it.

Sir Ken Robinson describes this passion or inspiration as “The Element”. Yes, it sounds mystical but really it’s about finding that one thing that fires your imagination, that one thing that you love to do and is something that you can excel at and earn a living from or in some cases volunteer to do. As Harvey Mackay notes:

Find something you love to do,
and you’ll never have to work a day of your life.

Everyone needs someone to talk to and it’s important that teenagers know that they are being listened to by their parents. There’s no point in having a one way conversation, where the parent is doing all of the talking and the teenager is simply listening; they will just switch off for sure. Conversations need to be two way and done in a relaxed and comfortable environment. Keep an open mind in discussing options because what was true fifteen years ago, almost certainly will not be as relevant or true today.

Remember also that there are many career and tertiary study pathways open to students these days and that Gen Y and Z - the NetGeners - are more likely to change careers between five to ten times compared to Baby Boomers. Therefore, nothing is set in concrete. Opportunity to change your mind, change your tertiary course or change your future career is ever present. All is not lost, because of a change of heart.

Getting good advice and researching the career options is probably a good starting point – attending university Open Days and Career Days, is an excellent source of up-to-date and relevant information. Doing a spell of work experience is another way that students can get a taste for a particular career and firsthand knowledge of whether this career interests them.

There’s nothing like some good positive reinforcement, because it spurs us on and motivates us to keep aspiring to higher levels of excellence and to keep working hard to achieve our goals. For teenagers particularly, affirmations are important to build their self esteem and affirmations help them recognise and understand their own strengths and talents.

At the end of it all, we want what is best for our children and we want them to enjoy a happy, successful and rewarding life. Some young people will take longer than others to reach this point and ultimately, much will depend on your son or daughter’s motivation, desire to succeed and passion for his or her chosen field of study or career. Robert Louis Stevenson sums it up best, when he said:

To be what we are,
And to become what we
are capable of becoming
is the only end in life.

For all of us, not just our children, this little verse best captures what each of us should be endeavouring to do in our day to day life - whether we're working full time, home looking after our children, studying at university or looking for a job. To become what we are capable of becoming is full of possibilities isn't it? Yes, each of us has that kind of potential. We only have one life to live, so live it to the fullest and never stop searching for your passion and your purpose in life. If you've found what you're looking for, hold onto it and never let it go.

Karon Graham
Principal